Tech/Horsepower

Previously posted and imported from elsewhere

I’ve been calling computer hardware support for many years. I’d venture a guess that I’ve called over 500 times, most of those to Dell, so I’m going to speak to my experience when calling them. I’ve been in charge of support for thousands of Dell machines, a wide spectrum from enterprise servers to desktops to notebooks. You’re probably chuckling to yourself “He’s called over 500 times? What kind of quality is that!”, but the truth is every manufacturer has defects. Since most PC manufactures get their parts from the same overseas (READ: dirt cheap) suppliers, they all have about the same failure rate. But I’ve always said that I recommend and buy Dell not for the quality, but for the warranty support. Dell has the best warranty support in the computer business. Apple doesn’t.

They don’t get their parts from the same suppliers as most PC makers. No, they’re far choosier about the components that go into their machines, which is why they’re twice as much as any comparable PC. Which is why I will hold them to a higher standard, since the vast majority of their user-base is happy to smug you into suffocation about what pinnacles of quality they are. So forgive me if I get upset that the brand new THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR MacBook Pro which I bought for my web developer has been a flaming turd since the day we opened the box. It gray screens (crashes) randomly, and has since minute one. Since day two the sound stared wigging out, making sounds like a ghost was getting raped with a freshly cut pine bough. Then after another day the sound just quit working (with much relief to the ghost, I’m sure). But you know, I know that even THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR computers can have a bad apple (heh) in the bunch. That’s why we bought the advanced AppleCare plan, right?

Wrong. AppleCare is the worst support experience I’ve ever had. I paid $349 to call a DMV owned by Steve Jobs. Seriously. Let’s start with their support hours – 6a-6p PST (that’s 9a-9p for those of us in EST). Wait, what? They have support hours to begin with? Why they don’t have 24/7 support simply escapes me. How can they possibly even try to be a contender in the global PC market, specifically to businesses, with support hours? I know that if I want to call Dell at 3am on Christmas morning while sitting in my underwear at home just because I want to talk to someone, they’ll be there. You know what’s better? I can call them, and with their next business day service (that costs less than AppleCare for a three year extension) I’ll have parts and/or a technician on my doorstep on December 26th. That’s the kind of service it takes to be a global player. But let’s just hope their computers don’t run the call-center…

Because I got hung up on. Yep, the first time I called in (right at 9am with a two minute wait), I started to talk with the support person and then got bounced to hold music followed by a hang-up one minute later. Nice. So I called back and now my wait was TWENTY MINUTES. Twenty minutes. For a THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR computer. I had to wait twenty minutes (to be fair, they picked up in nineteen minutes forty-seven seconds) to speak with someone after being hung up on. I’ve never had to wait to speak to someone at Dell. Ever. Once you get through the menus you talk to someone. How can Apple, the crusaders of “friendly” computing, not have enough staff to serve you within three minutes?

They’re too busy insulting their customers. That’s right. Not only did the gentleman I spoke with sound like he’d been toking-up right before his shift, he was downright rude and full of attitude. I actually had to tell him to cut out the attitude. I don’t like having to tell the person I’m calling for support to reduce their attitude.

Not that it did me any good; I still have to wait to get the notebook repaired. Our AppleCare Protection Plan doesn’t have a next day service, nor does it have a replacement service for a brand new THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR computer. Dell does, for less than the price of AppleCare. Your options are mailing it in and get it back “Uh, maybe a week or so?” (quote from my support representative) later or you can take it directly to the closest Apple Store which “Uh, might be faster than mailing it in”. So now not only have I lost the productivity of my web developer, I get to lose a nice chunk of my time as well shuffling the THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR computer to the other side of town. And I get to wait for my support appointment this afternoon, because you can’t even take it in at your leisure. God forbid you actually need to get YOUR computer fixed on YOUR schedule.

Apparently Apple truly does “think different”. Unless they start thinking more like Dell’s support department then I pity any professional who has an issue with their PC. God forbid trying to administer an office full of these things. Let’s hope my experience at the store today is better, 1:15pm sharp. I think they flog you with a wet cane if you miss the appointment.